Off and running.

So far so good with the new screenplay. Plot still in tact. Characters are developing nicely. And the dialogue is human sounding, at least. Unfortunately my agent won't let me say anymore, but just imagine Will Ferrell as a transvestite Buddist monk with a jewish mother complex and you have an idea of what my screenplay is not.

The Post Mortem is in.

In a painstakingly thorough autopsy that would have made Dr. Quincy M.E. seethe with envy, I've finally outlined the causes of death of my first screenplay, "The Spokesman".

• The depiction of Jesus Christ as a wood-fearing, father-loathing bedwetter probably caused irreparable damage to fair-minded sensibilities.
• The inclusion of Sid Vicious in Heaven probably strained the limits of believability to breaking point.
• Pervasive use of the words "jejune" and "insouciance" reduced characters to pretentious twats.
• Failure to include an obscure homage to Asian Cinema proved catastrophic.
• Complications arose from a car chase that was too avant-garde.
• A fairly predictable sex scene proved to be a weak antidote.
• The plot developed Alzheimer's and by the end had no idea where it was supposed to be.
• The screenplay was riddled with too many cliches, e.g., the British soccer hooligan; the penny-pinching Jew; the child-molesting Catholic Priest; the coke-snorting Australian ad guy; the Russian whore; the error-prone intern; the Korean deli-owner who pretends not to understand English.
  
• There was no role for Megan Fox.

I move on to the next screenplay with much momentum and optimism.