In lieu of a clever title for this post.

In a new Nielsen viewer survey, 51% of respondents said they enjoy the Super Bowl more for the ads than the game. Given the sharp dip in the quality of the ads on show in recent years that's surprisingly high. Of course it could also say something damning about the quality of the game. But it got me thinking. If a majority, albeit slight come to the spectacle for the ads then how could advertisers possibly give them even more to drool over in future Super Bowls.

For starters, advertisers could strike a deal with the NFL to lengthen all commercial breaks. Half-time could be stretched a few more minutes too. By the way, this year's half-time show performers are a bunch of geriatric English rockers with a child-molester guitarist. Who?

Another good option would be to manufacture more timeouts thereby increasing the number of commercial breaks. Again, perhaps advertisers could work with the NFL to give the teams extra timeouts.

Players could also be "motivated" to suffer more injuries on the field, thereby creating even more injury timeouts. Needless to say coaches would be "encouraged" to use all of their timeouts and challenges during the game regardless of their merits.

More ingenious could be for the advertisers to create "on-field" incidents, thereby requiring forced television timeouts. For instance streakers, protesters or overly exuberant fans could invade the field momentarily stopping the game and forcing the network to break away so as not to give the offenders any publicity.

Or how about an "off-field" incident, like temporary floodlight failure? Again, with the game on pause the network would be compelled to take a break.

Another way to enhance the viewing experience is for advertisers to sponsor the timeouts. This way they can air a block of their best commercials during the timeout break. Who wouldn't want to watch five Bud-Lite spots about flatulence in a row.

One thing not mentioned in this survey is the percentage of respondents who would actually like a commercial-free Super Bowl. Here's my thinking. Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan Chase and others set aside a little something from their bonus funds and buy up all the commercial time on next year's Super Bowl. A few hundred million should do it. We won't love them a lot more, but we might hate them a little less.

(Sharing credit to Adweek)