The education gap.

Ask any number of political scientists, social critics or public policy wonks and they'll tell you that primary and secondary education is one of the most serious long-term problems facing the United States today. Failing teachers, overcrowded schools, high-school graduates who can barely read and write, the growing gap in test scores between rich and poor, black and white, right wing nuts from Texas re-writing text books, I could go on.

Mind you wouldn't know it judging by kids in commercials these days. Indeed the educated gap between real kids and "commercial" kids couldn't be any wider.

Take the new campaign for Kraft's Macaroni and Cheese. It stars remarkably articulate seven and eight year old kids, who with impressive oratorical zeal accuse their parents of stealing their macaroni and cheese.

Indeed they make their cases against their parents with a prosecutorial precision not seen since the early days of Jack Mccoy. "Send me down the river on trumped up charges", complains one kid. Just where did these kids learn to apply such nuanced reasoning.

Actually this gift of the gab from ad infants starts even lower than seven. That E-trade baby sure knows who to engage in witty repartee. I even used a couple of the his lines to get laid recently. I'd like to see a baby from Jon and Kate's litter speak with such clear diction and fluency. Didn't think so.

We may lag well behind other industrialized nations when it comes to primary and secondary education. Recent studies suggest American kids rank about 12 out of 38 nations in reading. But at least our "commercial" kids are kicking ass.