"Dead Ideaville"
It's not just advertising ideas that die, of course. Television ideas suffer similar deaths, perhaps even more gruesome. Here's one I pitched a while back. The fact that I am here writing a blog rather than living it up in Malibu says it all.
"X-BAY"
"Greetings. Item #11. George and Barbara. Male and Female Martians in good condition. Bidding will commence 14:30est. www.xbay.com. Username: CIA. Password: Holy Shit."
And so begins X-BAY, a dark comedy/action series that takes the phenomenon of the online auction to an extreme and probably absurd level.
So what is X-BAY?
A very secretive, exclusive online auction site that facilitates the buying and selling of anything of extraordinarily extreme value.
What is “anything of extraordinarily extreme value”?
What is “anything of extraordinarily extreme value”?
Government secrets; multinational corporation secrets; celebrity secrets; patents; international fugitives; government witnesses; weapons of mass destruction; expensive art; historical treasures; first ladies; special services, e.g. assassinations; espionage; terrorist acts.
Who are the participants?
Anyone with an interest to sell or buy, as long as it is of extreme value. These include governments, corporations, private individuals as well as third party bounty raiders. A free market like X-BAY has encouraged savvy, international thieves who can penetrate any facility in the world to steal anything of value. Just to spice up the intrigue, these raiders may or may not be agents for various governments too. Naturally all participants are anonymous.
What is the currency?
Money. National Treasures. Weapons. Anything of extreme value. E.g., Bolivia is looking to buy nuclear weapons from the Chinese. It offers up cocaine, which the Chinese gladly accept.
Why can’t governments shut X-Bay down?
Because governments are their biggest clients.
The first episode will follow the US government as it bids to buy back the Martians from other bidders including world governments and the multinational media organizations that would dearly love to break the story. Who will win? What will be the bidding strategies? And what will be the consequences?
We will also be introduced to one of the bounty raiders, who steals the patent for the cure of cancer. In future episodes we will find out who will bid for the patent and why. Other future scenarios include:
- England wakes up to discover that Stonehenge is gone. Stolen by those pesky bounty raiders. When it ends up on X-BAY for auction a major bidding war breaks out. But who will dare buy the stones shrouded in mystery and the occult?
- Aztec Lopez, the baron of drug barons is kidnapped and put on X-BAY. Given that there is a multi- million-dollar reward for him in five different countries not to mention rival drug gangs that would like to eliminate him and the stage is set for some interesting and heated bidding.
- Nepal needs help in lowering its huge deficit. It puts up the rights to Mt Everest for auction. Why the hell are the Swiss bidding!
- Nuclear weapons are stolen in a Russian Republic and are up for bidding on X-BAY, causing major headaches across various capitals. Under no circumstances can they be outbid by a non-government entity.
- The first lady is kidnapped and put on X-BAY. But the White House receives unexpected competition to get her back. Who on earth would want to buy the first lady?
Who are the participants?
Anyone with an interest to sell or buy, as long as it is of extreme value. These include governments, corporations, private individuals as well as third party bounty raiders. A free market like X-BAY has encouraged savvy, international thieves who can penetrate any facility in the world to steal anything of value. Just to spice up the intrigue, these raiders may or may not be agents for various governments too. Naturally all participants are anonymous.
What is the currency?
Money. National Treasures. Weapons. Anything of extreme value. E.g., Bolivia is looking to buy nuclear weapons from the Chinese. It offers up cocaine, which the Chinese gladly accept.
Why can’t governments shut X-Bay down?
Because governments are their biggest clients.
The first episode will follow the US government as it bids to buy back the Martians from other bidders including world governments and the multinational media organizations that would dearly love to break the story. Who will win? What will be the bidding strategies? And what will be the consequences?
We will also be introduced to one of the bounty raiders, who steals the patent for the cure of cancer. In future episodes we will find out who will bid for the patent and why. Other future scenarios include:
- England wakes up to discover that Stonehenge is gone. Stolen by those pesky bounty raiders. When it ends up on X-BAY for auction a major bidding war breaks out. But who will dare buy the stones shrouded in mystery and the occult?
- Aztec Lopez, the baron of drug barons is kidnapped and put on X-BAY. Given that there is a multi- million-dollar reward for him in five different countries not to mention rival drug gangs that would like to eliminate him and the stage is set for some interesting and heated bidding.
- Nepal needs help in lowering its huge deficit. It puts up the rights to Mt Everest for auction. Why the hell are the Swiss bidding!
- Nuclear weapons are stolen in a Russian Republic and are up for bidding on X-BAY, causing major headaches across various capitals. Under no circumstances can they be outbid by a non-government entity.
- The first lady is kidnapped and put on X-BAY. But the White House receives unexpected competition to get her back. Who on earth would want to buy the first lady?
5 say something:
Interesting idea. Very satirical.
A spoof on Ebay? A little dated don't you think.
It was done a while back, not recently!
This would be better as a novel… the satire would really come to life then. Go on, try it…
More like a graphic novel.
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